Hot Thing Summer: Fantastic Four Pop-Tarts

I suppose that I admire the Pop-Tarts brand for being willing to try weird marketing ideas. Their "crazy good" commercials are odd and the fact that they ritualistically sacrifice a person-sized Pop-Tart after a college football bowl game is, well, I mean, it's memorable. By comparison, going in on the Fantastic Four: First steps marketing push seems like a safe idea. I didn't see any advertising for these, but I had my eye out for them, and around the beginning of July, they started showing up in stores.

There were four different varieties of these toaster pastries this time around. You could find strawberry, brown sugar cinnamon and toasted s'mores in pretty much any grocery story. Walmart went in for yet another exclusive with their blue raspberry flavor. The strawberry and blue raspberry boxes feature the FF prominently on the fronts, while the other two just have top banner branding. The back of each box look the same, with images of some of what you'll see inside.

There were a set of eight different images, and you'd see one on each Pop-Tart in each box.

The images actually transferred pretty well to the icing. Like the cereal, I ultimately decided that I couldn't keep a bunch of full Pop-Tart boxes in my house, so I opened the boxes and flattened them, and I ate the contents. This was the right choice, though I held my breath as I broke the boxes apart.

I took a picture of these every time I toasted a pair...for posterity, I guess (and blogs). The blue raspberry tasted like the most artificial food you've ever ingested. But this was an official Thing food product, so I went for it and I do not regret it.

Not stopping at the exclusive flavor, Walmart also released an online-only collector's box (we're really stretching the boundaries of the word "collector's" here) that contained a few different items. I missed these entirely, but your friend (and mine) Larry grabbed a couple of these for me. They called it the Launch Box! I get it. Here's what's inside!

The boxes all had another blue raspberry box of Pop-Tarts, with the logos and some of the branding shining in embossed metallic to distinguish it from the boxes you'd find on store shelves. Okay, this one I kept sealed in its package. In ten years, the contents will probably turn nuclear and burn a hole through the floor.

There's also a small cloth tote with the movie logo on it. I admit it -- this is pretty neat.

I guess it IS collectin' time.

Hot Thing Summer: Little Caesars Fantastic Four pizza

 

I never give Little Caesars enough credit. I don't order their pizza very often, but when I do, I find myself thinking, "this is an okay delivery pizza." And that's, I mean, pretty good, all things considered. Beyond this, though, I like that Little Caesars is willing to go all in on a marketing promotion. A few years ago, they made a Bat Pizza, which was their pizza shaped like a bat, and it tied in with one of the many Batman movies. I tried it! It was fine. Good enough!

When I found out about their Fantastic Four: First Steps marketing tie-in, I knew it was time to place another order. The company had four pizza boxes, each with a different FF character on it; if you placed them all together, the "4" logo connected the boxes in the middle. My overall goal was to get an empty box. A Thing box. An empty Thing box, without cheese or whatever on it, that I could keep and store and look at and wonder, over the next 30 years, "do I really need to keep this?" It goes in the Thing museum, everyone.

My order was a moderate success. I say this because I did, indeed, get pizza, and I ate it, and it was pretty good. I got the Invisible Woman box. At the store nearest to my house, the front, ordering area is as close to autonomous as it can get at this point. It's like walking into some strange, liminal space, because no one is there. There's a counter with a menu, but you're directed to a warming station where you're instructed to enter a code to open the door to the space that contains your pizza. It's like ordering a hammer from Lowe's for pickup, but instead of a hammer that you use to pound nails, you eat the hammer, or whatever.

Anyway, when you attempt to get the attention of the pizza makers in the back, they give you a wearied look, but I took my chances because I was hoping to grab a Thing box. I was informed that the workers go through all of one character before moving onto the next, and the Thing boxes were probably in some unopened stack somewhere else. That was fine, of course, and I had no desire to get into a battle of wills with a food service worker (they don't deserve having to deal with some weird, desperate person getting upset over a box), so Sue Storm and I left with one pizza. Here's a picture of it!

The box was, as far as pizza boxes go, pretty neat. It continued to advertise for the movie on the sides:

About a week later, your friend (and mine) Larry barged into a different Little Caesars location and demanded a Thing box. He left with two, and now I have two unused Thing pizza boxes, and my life is 12% better.

I later learned that there was a specific Fantastic Four style pizza being offered, which consisted of one pizza with four toppings on separate sections: cheese, pepperoni, sausage and bacon, and pepperoni and jalapeño peppers. I imagined trying each of these, and that was good enough for me.

There's also a promotional hat floating around there. It's on my radar, and I need to pick it up, but so far it's been elusive. One day, pizza hat.

This was a decent promotional tie-in that didn't require Little Caesars to try out any new pizza recipes. I would have been more excited if they had, say, offered up a Thing pizza. Maybe it could have had a smashed up brick or something on top. Next time.

"It's Cobblerin' Time" by Second Sin Brewing

My friend (and yours) Larry often tells me, "for someone who doesn't drink, you sure buy a lot of alcohol." Look, this is true. It's a contradiction to be sure. But Star Trek now makes a licensed Cardassian Kanar and Klingon Blood Wine! The Steelers have made commemorative beer cans for decades! There are several Weird Al-themed IPAs! And now, thanks to the Philadelphia-area Second Sin Brewing, there's a Thing-inspired sour ale named "It's Cobblerin' Time!" So I ask you this - what am I to do? NOT buy these collectable beverages? Nonsense.

I found out about this new drink over the summer (back when I used to actually post to this long-neglected blog), and after a small amount of research, I discovered that the brewery where it is made and canned was not too far away. So I sent off an email to try to see where I might locate the final product and was told that...I'd have to go to the brewery itself. Second Sin is starting off small. But that was okay - I took the drive to just outside of Philadelphia, where not only was I able to purchase a Fantastic four-pack (I couldn't wait any longer to use that), but I was offered a tour of the brewery itself. Naturally, I took the owners up on it. I was greeted as "the Thing guy!", which is a title I am happy to wield.

I spent about a half hour hanging out in the back room brewery, watching the machines pour the beer and seal the cans, and I got to chat with some of the workers about comics and the Thing. I can hang around pretty much anywhere and talk comics, so this was naturally a great time for me. I got to learn a little more about the label's fruity-Thing artwork (a local artist drew it) and about the seasonal Cobblerin' offerings that the brewery cooks up throughout the year.

On the way out, the owners sent me off with the different, seasonal labels...

...and their last Cobblerin' Time glass! I'm really grateful for the time and effort that everyone at Second Sin shared with me on this hot summer day, chatting about the Thing and their new brew. I'm sure Ben Grimm would drink it daily, out of a dirty mug or something.

pictures from the 2021 New York Comic Con, part 2

Here are some pictures from Saturday at this year's New York Comic Con!

Let's start off with handsome Squidward. 

The biggest booth in artist alley belonged to Scott Snyder and ComiXology. Snyder and artist Greg Capullo signed autographs and gave posters and pins to the long line of folks who waited for them. I snuck in just before the two left.

Did I get some Thing sketches at this year's show? I got three of them! It was great to add some more to the sketchbook for the first time in quite a while. Here's Dane Ault from Monkey Minion Press, holding up his contribution to the cause. Dane makes great posters for different conventions, and I've got a few of 'em from San Diego over the last several years. I was very happy to get this sketch.

There were more comic book and comic art vendors at this year's show - or at least they were more prominently featured this year. This booth was very impressive, and is that the original Bernie Wrightson art from the Thing/Hulk Marvel Graphic Novel I see? Holy cow! 

This was one of my favorite costumes from the show this year. Bravo.

Man-Thing gets interviewed.

The Star Trek Prodigy booth was one of the biggest at the show. I desperately wanted to walk home with a piece of the display, but alas, I did not. Pictures will suffice.

Another impressive booth belonged to eBay, which displayed a number of rare collectibles behind glass. Here's Amazing Fantasy #15! I surprisingly saw several copies of this book at the show this year.

I have not seen Midsommar. Larry tells me that it was weird.

Tony & Peter.

What is this costume? I do not know. Good for this person for going all out, though.

I hate the Joker Who Laughs, I'm ambivalent about Venom, but these are three good costumes.

MOOD! Oh, wait, I mean, DOOM!

I think this guy dressed up as Mr. T a few years ago, as well. But can you blame him for breaking it out again? I absolutely support this decision.

Leaving the show, I was treated to Reed Richards with one big fist.

It has been brought to my attention that I did not mention that my pal Larry came to this show with me. I also found out that I have almost no pictures of him (or me, I guess) from this show. These things happen! But Larry came along and I was happy to have the company at what was a weird, but good, show.

After we left the convention center on Saturday, Larry and I took the High Line over to the brand new Little Island, an honest-to-goodness new island that was built for a quarter-of-a-billion dollars off the coast of Manhattan. It's over an acre big and features walking paths, performance areas, food trucks, lots of trees and some very impressive views. I recommend this to anyone visiting the Big Apple. It was my first time back since 2019 and I really missed it!

I was really unsure about attending this show, for obvious reasons, in the weeks leading up to it. But it wasn't overcrowded, masking was enforced, and it ended up being a fun time. The show lacked a lot of big draws and there weren't nearly as many attractions in general, but I'm still glad that I went. I bought some comics and some art when I was there, got some Thing sketches, saw a few friends that I hadn't in a while, and got to explore New York a little bit, too. I'm sometimes critical of NYCC for how they handle their show, but this one was a good, albeit weird, one. It was good to go to a show again.

Planet Comics #2 is now on Kickstarter!

 

Last year, the first issue of Planet Comics met its goal on Kickstarter, and last month, I was able to print the issue and start sending it out. Here it is! It exists!

I've decided to press my luck and make a second issue, and now the campaign for this book is on Kickstarter! This one runs until the last week of March. Let's take a look at what we'll find for the second issue of the new Planet Comics!

Like the first issue, issue #2 comes with two cover, a regular cover by Adrián "Bago" Gonzalez...

...and a Kickstarter exclusive by Andrés Muños Setz! This one is a companion piece to the exclusive first issue cover by Matthew Dow Smith.

The Bulwark returns for a second chapter as the lead story of this issue.

Andrea Schiavone once again provides the art for this story! I'm excited to have a story that continues from one issue to the next! Most of my stories have been single-issue tales so far, so it's nice to write one that stretches out over a few issues.

I'm really excited to have the opportunity to publish an original Grumble story from Rafer Roberts and Mike Norton. Grumble just ended its run with Eric Powell's Albatross Funny Books and to have it continue here is a big deal.

Jeff McComsey's "The Old Man and The Sea of Love" continues in this issue as well!

Another new feature in this issue is "Badges O'Keefe, Canine Time Thief" with Dani Grew and your friend (and mine) Larry Franks! I love working with Dani on pretty much anything (Larry is okay), so I'm really excited about this story. There's also a reward where you can have your dog drawn into the book!

See?!

There are a bunch of rewards this time around, from other comics to shirts and pins to social media profile art.

I launched the project two days ago, and we're currently a little over 50% toward the goal. This gives me hope! If we reach the goal, I'll have stretch goals that I'll announce soon, but will most importantly include more content for the book.

I hope you can check out, support and/or share this project and help me make another issue of Planet Comics! Here's the link! Look at it! LOOK AT IT!! https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jeffmcclelland/planet-comics-issue-2?ref=creator_nav

Is this the worst piece of Thing merchandise ever created?

Let me preface this post by saying that any Thing merchandise is good Thing merchandise, because, after all, it is the Thing that is being...merchandised. Let me also say that I have a number of truly horrible Thing bootleg action figures, many from our neighbors in Mexico, that I love unreservedly.

But there's one piece of officially licensed Fantastic Four merchandise that I've long held to be the worst, most horrendous of all, and this year for Christmas, my friend (and yours) Larry got it for me. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, the Fantastic Four Thing lamp:

Now, with one look at this almost obscene item, you might be questioning whether this is actually an officially licensed product, rather than an Etsy project gone terribly wrong. I'm here to tell you that no, this travesty has the official Marvel stamp on it. It is real and it is terrible.

This product came about, as many Fantastic Four items do, in 2005, the year of the first Fox-produced FF movie. The movie itself was okay at best, and that describes many of the scores of products that came out in conjunction.

I've seen this lamp referred to as a "popcorn" lamp because of the plastic bead material that comprises the head sculpt. The head itself is quite pliable and rubbery.

Here's another closer shot with more detail. It reminds me a little bit of the bead art you could make yourself with the unbelievably dangerous use of a clothes iron. Do they still sell those?

In this shot, you can also see the cheap, lifeless stickers used for Mr. Grimm's eyes and mouth. At least they got his blue eyes right, but sheesh, those are both really bad.

The darker brown highlights seem almost haphazard in their placement, although they did manage to highlight the brows, an important component to the Thing.

I mentioned that this product is a decorative lamp that is balanced on a wire stand. It's been over 15 years since it came out - does it still work?

Yes! Somehow, this makes it look even worse.

It's hard to believe that this item got the thumbs up from Marvel on its way down the production line. Even though I'm spending this post discussing how truly awful this item is, I want to thank Larry for getting it for me. I remember seeing it in stores in 2005 and deciding, "well, I guess I don't have to get everything Thing-related that comes out," but I've honestly thought about it ever since and have wondered if I made a mistake by not buying this monstrosity. Now I don't have to wonder if I missed out.

There's one more of these lamps up for sale on eBay right now, and I took some screenshots so we could look at the packaging, which manages to make it look even more terrifying:

It looks like a head in a jar, complete with a pained expression and a wide-eyed stare.

In this shot, you can see the official sticker on the side, complete with imagery from the Ultimate Fantastic Four series.

There were other Marvel lamps in this line, all of which were also bad, but none as bad as the Thing. Here's the Spider-Man lamp: it's still terrible, but the shape of Spidey's head makes it at least a little bit more palatable.

Not to be outdone, Larry got me several other terrible Thing items. These are all products I've been following on eBay for probably at least ten years, but could never bring myself to buy because of their obvious lack of quality. This one is a golf club cover. Has anyone...ever used this?

This small plush toy really caught me off guard, because I've seen - and hated seeing - it on eBay for years and years. It used to be listed with the phrase "Thing bust," one of the phrases I'd use when searching for Thing statues. This is clearly not a statue, though I suppose "bust" does technically apply. Still, I absolutely hated seeing it come up in search results. It almost seemed like it was taunting me from the screen. Well, it appears that I truly am cursed, because now it lives in my house and has infiltrated my collection quite expertly. If I had to guess, this might be a toy you would have found in a claw machine game.

When you've got a big collection of anything, sometimes you've got to scrape the bottom of the barrel to get an item that you didn't previously have. I think it's safe to say that at the very bottom, you'll find the Thing lamp.